My lungs were straining to grasp air, my legs were starting to feel like rubber, and my body was beginning to quake. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest like a Jehovah’s witness at a front door wanting to know if you’ve found Jesus yet. My pulse was quickening by the nanosecond; everything was coming together for the final exhilarating moment. It may sound like I was in the midst of some grade-A sex but unfortunately I was being chased by a cop.
Actually, I was in the middle of assaulting and taking money from a common low-life street corner dope dealer when a black and white just happened to come rolling up on us. Must’ve been a rookie, they seem to have a knack for that shit while the older officers know exactly where to go to avoid instances like this. He shoved his car over the curb and on to the sidewalk, lights flashing and siren blaring. I turned to face the vehicle with my cash filled hands in the air, just as he was exiting the driver’s side. Standing behind the car door, the Irish-looking peace keeper drew his weapon, pointed it at me, and proceeded to give me commands like “Turn around” and “Lay face first on the ground!”
Oh yea, this kid was totally a rookie.
I complied with his first request but decided that it would tarnish the age-old tradition of cops and robbers if I didn’t run, so I took off at a dead sprint. My first step I took semi-carefully, making sure my size 12 tactical boot landed right in the middle of thug life’s chest. I heard some ribs crack and a gurgled groan escape from him and couldn’t help but crack a smile.
After my moment of satisfaction I focused on the task at hand; not getting my ass arrested. I ran full speed down the dimly lit sidewalk for about 200 yards with Fife trailing behind me by about fifty yards and losing ground, trying to run and call out on the radio at the same time. I stopped just before an almost completely dark alley on my left. I could lose him in there. I turned my head to him, he was yelling something along the lines of “stop right there you asshole,” so I gave him a mischievous grin and took off again.
About half way down the alley was an eight foot chain-linked fence. I considered jumping it but figured it’d be more fun to mess with the newb and hide in plain sight. As I was running towards the fence I began focusing my energy on making myself disappear. I stood right beneath the only light in the entire alley and waited.
“Baker 312 to radio, I lost sight of my suspect. Must’ve jumped the fence in the alley just east of 28th street.”
“10-4 baker 312. Do you have a description?”
“Yea, he’s a white male in his late twenties. About 6’3”, with long brown hair tied in a pony tail. He’s wearing a black jacket with black fatigue pants and combat boots. He had a scar down the right side of his face.”
“10-4, we’ll put out an attempt to locate.”
I stood not two feet away from the confused young officer. He was staring up at the fence wondering how the hell I could’ve made such a climb over it and be able to exit the other end of the alley in the split second before he made the turn off of the sidewalk. Shaking his head, he began walking back towards the original scene of the crime.
I waited a good five minutes so I knew it would be all clear and released the energy I had been holding. A subtle pop sounded and my image was once again clear beneath the yellow alley light. Don’t be too hard on the kid, it’s hard to catch the invisible man.
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